How often should a married couple have sex?
The simple answer to this is as often as possible. The bible says in 1 Corinthians:
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” – 1 Corinthians 7:5
So we see from this scripture that frequency is good. It is also the duty of husband and wife to fulfill each other sexually. We see in the verses before that;
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” – 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
To be clear, it is each person’s individual right to say “no” to sex if there is legitimate circumstance. But we also say it is the responsibility to say “yes” within a given time frame after one has said no. We recommend an agreed upon time period, whether it be 24 hours or 72 hours. It’s up to each couple to agree upon the time frame but if a “no” has been given then it is that same person’s responsibility to say “yes” within an agreed upon time.
It is important to stress that no individual should have complete control in any situation in marriage. Whether it be sex, finance, child discipline or what ever, it is a partnership and team with equal players.
Where things often get unhealthy is if one partner withholds sex without giving a reason or without taking the responsibility of saying yes at a later date. Saying no is reasonable if one doesn’t want to. But if you say no, ensure you have a plan and set a timeline to turn the no into a yes. There are many reasons not to have sex, but there are many more reasons to have sex. And remember, it’s God’s idea and he made for you to enjoy. Sex, it’s God recommended.
Terry & Julie Scott