I have learned many valuable life-lessons from my wife, not the least of which is her ongoing way of helping me understand how to love her. I would give her most of the credit for these words I’m writing, and I’m eternally grateful for the lessons I’ve learned.
According to Ephesians 5:25 where the Apostle Paul encourages Husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for her, wives were meant to be loved and husbands were meant to love. Accordingly, if we are to enjoy the life that God has intended for us, women need a vision of how to be loved and men need a vision of how to love.
In part 1, I began with the first three keys to what it looks like when a man loves a woman. Let me continue with the next three:
This is what I see When a Man Loves a Woman:
4. He will treasure her uniqueness and creativity and be willing to spend his life fully discovering and empowering it
Helen and I have had a television show for years just answering questions about relationships. One of the most frequently asked questions would be, “How do you stay in love for a lifetime?” Our answer is ‘stay amazed’. God has created her in His image, which means that she has unfathomable treasure. But you must purposefully hunt for it! Every time you discover more treasure, you are amazed. So for the rest of your life, decide to be on a treasure hunt.
Love does more than just discover the unique and creative treasure in her heart; it becomes her advocate and support. I believe every woman has treasure in her heart that needs to be voiced. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of watching and promoting my wife as her heart’s treasure and voice has blossomed and ministered to more and more.
5. He will earn her unwavering trust and guard it dearly
Trust is the backbone of every relationship. Without it we cannot build relationship. We can love someone, and even desperately desire to build a future together, but without trust, it is impossible.
It is vital to understand that trust MUST be earned. Often the mistake is made of trusting someone because we WANT to build a future and we know that requires trust. But, if that person is not trustworthy, disappointment and hurt would be ahead.
When a man loves a woman he realizes how important it is that she trust him and that he must earn it. So he will pace the relationship at the speed that he can earn her trust. He also understands that trust can take a lifetime to build and a second to shatter, which causes him to protect and guard it with wisdom and diligence.
6. He will enjoy her as his best friend
Friendship is the foundation of all intimate relationships. It is the strength and the reward of life. Friendship is the ‘want-to’ that glues a relationship together. Friends choose to spend time together just because they enjoy each other’s company.
Joy is the serious business of heaven – C.S. Lewis
Often, when a man loves a woman, it starts with hormones, physical attraction and infatuation but true love goes beyond those initiators and discovers the incomparable beauty of friendship. It is where true intimacy is forged: to understand and to be understood.